|Shao Kahn VS M. Bison|
|Episode 27, Season 2|
|Air date||June 27th, 2013|
He-Man VS Lion-O (Season 2 Premiere)
Ryu Hayabusa VS Strider Hiryu
Episode 27 - Mortal Kombat VS Street Fighter! The ultimate showdown between final bosses! Can Shao Kahn's tenacity outmatch M. Bison's raw power?
(*Cues: Invader-Jim Johnston*)
Wiz: The final boss: a nightmarish foe meant to test your skill to the fullest.
Boomstick: And sometimes they're just plain cheap, like Shao Kahn The Konqueror...
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE.
(*Cues: Soul Chamber - Mortal Kombat 9*)
Boomstick: Shao Kahn is the evil ruler of Outworld, konqueror of worlds, and owner of one of the most badass voices ever. Excluding yours truly of course.
Shao Kahn: Ah, Too easy.
(*Cues: Main Menu - Mortal Kombat 9*)
Boomstick: Uh, turns out it didn't really need protecting.
Wiz: Shao Kahn became the chief advisor to Outworld´s ancient ruler the Dragon King Onaga. Together they began a war spanning the multiverse, conquering the other realms of existence one by one.
Boomstick: Good choice on that one, gods. And why did they even think this guy needed a bodyguard?
Wiz: But Kahn does not like sharing power, and soon poisoned Onaga, taking the emperor´s throne as his own.
Boomstick: He now rules Outworld with an iron fist, and a giant maul: the Wrath Hammer. He can summon this monstrous sledgehammer out of thin air to finish foes in seconds, or decimate whack-a-mole records!
Wiz: He is a master of the dark arts, and often uses his magic to enhance his lethal attacks or create energy constructs of weapons, just as deadly as the real thing. He has even used his sorcery to manipulate and erase the minds of others.
Boomstick: It´s like magic Vegas
Wiz: He can also access his inner beast to transform into...this thing...
(Movie Shao Kahn transforms into a very poorly CGd multi-headed dragon)
Boomstick: Quick! Make me forget that shit!
Wiz: Right, never happened!
(*Cues: The Tower - Motral Kombat 9*)
Wiz: Now, despite living in a completely separate dimension, Shao Kahn is well versed in two variants of Chinese Kung Fu: Tai Tzu and Lui He, which generally focus on powerful strikes and solid defense.
Boomstick: He mixes these arts with his magic for a move set that´s all about absolutely obliterating his opponent. He rams people with Charging Spikes, and even shoots fireballs from his mouth, and laser beams from his eyes.
Wiz: And if his foe gets the upper hand, he can deflect any kind of projectiles back with his mystical Emperor´s Shield.
Boomstick: And of course he always finishes his fights with a brutal fatality and an epic one-liner.
Shao Kahn laughs, then grabs and rips previous Death Battle contestant Kratos in half.
Shao Kahn: Is that your best?
(*Cues: The Graveyard - Mortal Kombat 9*)
Boomstick: He´s a living tank, bulldozing down anyone dumb enough to get in his way. He's taken deadly blows time and time again and keeps getting back up, more pissed off than anything else.
Wiz: But while his tenacity may be his biggest strength, his arrogance is easily his biggest weakness.
Shao Kahn: You will die- (Liu Kang kicks him in the face)
(*Cues: The Temple - Mortal Kombat 9*)
Wiz: His endurance and longevity stems from his ability to steal the souls of others. Devouring a soul grants him longer life and the inherited power attributed to the victim. He is not a perfect conqueror, as he is restricted to the rules set by the Elder Gods. In order to invade a realm, Kahn´s chosen warriors must defeat the defenders ten times in a row in the form of a tournament of Mortal Kombat, held every fifty years; which he was doing pretty well, until he came to Earth.
Boomstick: But even after losing the battle for Earth he just outsmarted the Elder Gods and eventually outlasted every other combatant to achieve the power of Armageddon...until Raiden reversed time cause he's a sore loser.
WIz: But his proudest accomplishment is his takeover of Edenia, the most powerful and respected realm of all. And as trophies for this victory, Kahn took Edenia's queen and princess, as his own wife and daughter.
Boomstick: Hehe, nice!
Shao Kahn: I am Shao Kahn! Konqueror of Worlds! You will taste no victory.
Wiz: M. Bison is the psychopathic founder and leader of the Shadoloo criminal regime. He is extremely wealthy, socially powerful, and public enemy number one of the Allied Nations.
Boomstick: Oh, so the M means Master.
Boomstick: I get it! Like Mike Tyson! Why was that a big enough deal to change all the names to... oh.
(*Cues: Super Street Fighter IV M. Bison Theme*)
Wiz: Anyway, after murdering his own parents at a young age, he was found and raised by a tribe of nomadic gypsies.
Boomstick: Wait, are we still talking about Tyson?
Wiz: The gypsy leader took Bison under her wing, and trained him in the art of Soul Power, an ancient art of utilizing the very essence of one's soul as a tool.
Boomstick: But since Bison's kind of a prick, he quickly mastered Soul Power, and began developing his own, much better version.
Wiz: See, Bison realized his soul was composed of two halves: one good, one evil. He forcefully dispelled all the goodness from his soul, thus pioneering one of the most destructive energies in fictional history: Psycho Power.
Bison: This place shall become your grave!
(*Cues: Brave or Grave Final Bison Theme*)
Wiz: Yes, he literally weaponized his soul. And uh, weird little thing, that good part of his soul, it physically manifested into a woman named Rose. Bison quickly built his criminal empire, with the intent of taking over the world, one day at a time.
Bison: The day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
Boomstick: Hahaha, fan service!
Wiz: But it turns out his true motives are not even close to what you would expect.
Bison: The governments of Earth are polluting the planet and obliterating its natural resources. Shadoloo will step them out and rule this planet!
Boomstick: (sings) Master Bison. He's our hero. Gonna take pollution down to zero.
Wiz: His Psycho Power...
Boomstick *singing*: Gonna help him! Conquer the world! Are a group of guys who like to kung fu bitches!
(*Cues: Street Fighter IV - M. Bison Theme*)
Wiz: ...his Psycho Power is immensely powerful and adaptable. Bison can use it for flight, telekinesis, teleportation and even psychic brainwashing, which has become quite a hobby of his.
Boomstick: With Psycho Power he developed his own unique fighting style: Shadoloooooo-ism!
Boomstick: And that cheap-ass slide kick. Over and over and over again!
WIz: As well as his deadliest attack the Psycho Crusher, which at full power can kill a normal human being in one shot. M. Bison is extremely cocky, considering himself no less than a god. And for good reason. He has been impaled, electrocuted, shot point-blank, crushed underneath a building, yet could resume the fight like nothing happened.
Boomstick: The only Street Fighter who was able to pretty much put him down single-handedly was Akuma . But the Raging Demon is supposed to destroy a person's soul, yet Bison´s soul survived to fight another day.
Wiz: Psycho Power only has one major flaw. Bison's human body cannot contain its full potential, and will eventually break down. Fortunately for Bison, he can transfer his soul into other compatible bodies once his current one is used up.
Boomstick: But even if that fails, Bison says, "Screw caution!" and busts out one last trick. His ultimate form: Final Bison.
Wiz: The Final Bison form unleashes the Psycho Power´s full potential. Sure, it completely mutilates his body, but its sheer power practically guarantees victory.
Boomstick: So who gives a shit?
Wiz: Especially since he can always posses some other helpless victim´s body when he´s done.
Boomstick: Told you. He´s a prick!
(*Cues: Mortal Kombat: Armageddon - Belltower*)
Shao Kahn witnesses two Tarkatan doing Mortal Kombat. Bison teleports out of nowhere and grabs one of the Tarkatan.
M. Bison: Kneel before my Psycho Power!
The Tarkatan in his hand then screams before being disintegrated by M. Bison's Psycho Power. Shao Kahn jumps from his throne and smashes the second Tarkatan and enters the battle, Mortal Kombat style.
Shao Kahn: Prepare to die.
M. Bison: Hehehehe.
Bison attempts a scissor kick, but is blocked and gets punched before sent flying with a hit from the Charging Spikes.
Shao Kahn: Too easy.
Kahn tosses his Wrath Hammer, but Bison teleports behind Kahn, without him noticing. Bison charges his fist with Psycho Power and punches Kahn in the face, then knocks him to the ground with a slide kick. Kahn retaliates and spits out a green fireball at Bison, but misses and the latter does the Psycho Crusher, then slams Kahn into the ground.
M. Bison: Worthless!
Bison levitates away, then attempts to brainwash Shao Kahn.
M. Bison: Just try to withstand my Psycho Power!
A purple aura surrounds Shao Kahn.
M. Bison *altered pitch*: Are you frightened? Grovel before me! I'll scar your soul!
But Kahn is impervious to the effects and laughs.
Shao Kahn: You are nothing.
He then attacks Bison, sending him flying then uses the Charging Spikes in midair until Bison teleports away. Kahn throws an ethereal spear, which Bison dematerializes through then reforms and does a Head Stomp, which gets blocked. Bison does a Skull Crusher Dive but is knocked away by the Wrath Hammer. However, Bison quickly returns to the fight and does two scissors kicks followed by his enhanced Psycho Crusher, Nightmare Booster.
M. Bison: Nightmare Booster!
In the process, M. Bison smashes Shao Kahn through the walls of the fortress, then ascends upward. He then teleports, preparing the final phase of his super.
M. Bison: This place shall become your grave!
M. Bison falls downward, stomping Shao Kahn into the ground, then jumps further away.
M. Bison: Utter scum!
Shao Kahn gets up.
Shao Kahn: Is that your best?
Bison, in anger, sends a volley of Psycho Cannons at Kahn, but are reflected by the latter´s Emperor´s Shield. The entire volley hits M. Bison and send him crashing into a pillar. Kahn jumps forward, impales Bison with an energy spear, then proceeds to beat him up with incredibly powerful punches.
Shao Kahn: Feel the wrath of Shao Kahn!
Kahn kicks Bison straight through the pillar, which sends him flying into another that falls and crushes Bison underneath.
Shao Kahn: Flawless Victory!
M. Bison: My Psycho Power knows no limits!
(*Cues: Street Fighter 2 SNES - M. Bison Theme*)
Bison bursts out of the rubble in his Final Bison form, in the violet flames that is his Psycho Power aura.
M. Bison: Death awaits!
Bison does a powered-up version of Psycho Crusher and smashes Shao Kahn to the ground. As he gets up, Bison does a series of teleporting attacks until Shao Kahn throws a perfect punch and hits Bison and sends him flying. Shao Kahn then throws a barrage of Charging Spikes at Bison, eventually bringing him to the ground. Shao Kahn summons his hammer and smashes Bison over the head four times before he reverts back to normal Bison. Shao Kahn then picks up M. Bison and rips him in half.
(*Cues: Mortal Kombat 9 - Fatality theme*)
Shao Kahn: Fatality!
Bison's soul then materializes, floating upward.
M. Bison: Bah! Puny garbage.
Shao Kahn then unleashes his Soulnado, which M. Bison's soul is slowly absorbed into.
M. Bison: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Shao Kahn: Mwahahahaha!
Shao Kahn begins testing his new-found Psycho Power, floating up into the air, then firing multiple Psycho Cannons to his left and right, the last of which he fires at M. Bison's corpse, destroying it.
(*Cues: Courtyard - Mortal Kombat 1 Arcade*)
Boomstick: That can't be good.
Wiz: While Bison is one of the deadliest Street Fighters, and surviving the raging demon proves that he can protect his soul, Shao Kahn's thousands of years of combat experiences combined with his brutal tenacity ultimately triumphed. Also, Kahn's otherworldly makeup means its extremely unlikely Bison's soul could possess him if given the chance.
Boomstick: And Kahn is no stranger to brainwashing. Hell, he used it on his own wife and daughter for years! Not to mention Bison's soul fueled Psycho Power isn't the best weapon against somebody who eats souls for breakfast.
Wiz: Shao Kahn has gained power from every soul he's devoured, by the rules of Mortal Kombat and assuming the possibility of losses, Kahn has consumed at least 60 billion souls over 10,000 years.
Boomstick: Looks like Kahn had a "soul-lution" for Bison.
Wiz: The winner is Shao Kahn.
(*Cues Sunshine Day*)
Instead of Shao Kahn killing M. Bison, the battle ends in a Friendship and the two leave. Then various vacation photos are shown, with the two them going to places like Paris, Las Vegas, and a theme park. The last picture shows them at a beach setting with Liu Kang in a flying kick position shown impaled on a spike in the background and Ryu buried in the sand, possibly killed by the two teaming up.
- The connection between Kahn and Bison is that they are both power-hungry dictators who prey on souls and are primary antagonists within a fighting game franchise.
- This is the first, and currently the only episode to feature an official alternate ending exclusive to ScrewAttack members.
- This is the second time that a Mortal Kombat character (like Shao Kahn) and a Street Fighter character (like M. Bison) are pitted against each other, the first one was Akuma VS Shang Tsung and the next two are Ryu VS Scorpion and Cammy VS Sonya.
- This is the third episode where Boomstick is parodying a song, this time being the Captain Planet and the Planeteers theme song. The first two were Felicia VS Taokaka where he parodied the Sonic the Hedgehog (SatAM) theme and Batman VS Spiderman where he parodied the 1960's Spiderman theme song, the fourth was the Pokémon Battle Royale, where he parodied the Pokemon theme song and the fifth being Godzilla VS Gamera where he parodied the Gamera theme song.