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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale
Season 1
Air date February 15th, 2011
Episode guide
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Zitz VS Leonardo

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale is the sixth episode of DEATH BATTLE! It was sponsored by Gamefly, where users could rent up to 4 games for $15.95 a month. In the first Battle Royale of the series, this episode determined who was the best fighter of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, or Raphael.

Description

Screwattack

Episode 6 - TMNT royal rumble! Four heroes in half-shells duel to the death!

YouTube

Episode 6 - TMNT royal rumble! Four heroes in half-shells duel to the death! Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael have won many a battle with their unrivaled teamwork, but when going solo which Ninja Turtle is deadliest?

Interlude

(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*) 

Wiz: Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were grown from ooze and raised by a warrior rat in the sewers of New York to be the world's most fearsome fighting team. 

Boomstick: Lots of superheroes have some weird origin stories but this one is plain ridiculous!

Wiz: Their greatest advantage in battle is their family bond and teamwork. But, on their own, which Turtle is deadliest?

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Leonardo

(*Cues: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) - Main Theme (MARCH REMIX)*)

Wiz: Leonardo, the leader of the team is smart, strategic with a strong sense of honor. 

Boomstick: Too bad he traded his sense of humour for that sense of honor. This guy always means serious business. His weapon of choice is the Ninjaken swords: Shorter, sturdier and straighter than an ordinary Katana, and designed for swift deadly strikes! Out of all the Turtles' weapons, the Ninjaken is the only one specifically designed to murder people! What's better than one Ninjaken? Two, Damnit! 

Wiz: In many timelines, Leonardo's the one who ultimately defeats The Shredder, though always with plenty of help. As leader, he is usually the one with a plan. He spends most of his time training his body and mind under his Master Splinter's instruction and follows Bushido, a strict Samurai code of honor and duty. At one point, he even fought and killed a sort of physical embodiment of the Devil.

Boomstick: Giving Keanu Reeves a much needed break! 

Wiz: However, Leonardo finds it difficult to accept failure. Should things go horribly wrong, his concentration can quickly slip away from him, leaving him sloppy and inprecise. 

Boomstick: Leo doesn't like to lose.

Leonardo (1987 cartoon version): "Quit clowning you guys! This is serious!"

Donatello

(*Cues: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (1991) - Cowabunga*)

Wiz: Donatello is the brains of the bunch. 

Boomstick: He does machines! 

Wiz: Right, Boomstick. Somehow, he learned to operate and manipulate both Human and alien technology without any formal education or budget whatsoever. He also speaks 100% fluent Techno-babble.

Donatello: "The resulting intermit multi-polar flux should create the Electromagnetic Pulse!"

Boomstick: What the hell did I just hear? All that gibberish means he's probably trained less than the others, devoting more of his time for Science! 

Wiz: Fortunately, his useful Bo Staff makes up for his lack of constant training. Durable Oak and Six feet long, the Bo gives Donatello far more attack range than his other brothers. 

Boomstick: The range is nice, but it takes a lot of time and patience to kill anybody with a stick! 

Wiz: He's no expert strategist, that's Leonardo's turf, but Donatello's considered the most level-headed of the Turtles. Even with his time spent tinkering, he's still a very capable warrior, easily keeping up with his brothers and even killing the Shredder in an alternate dimension. 

Boomstick: An ass-kicking nerd? I don't believe it.

Donatello (2003 cartoon version): "Eh, I'm making this up as I go."

Michelangelo

(*Cues: TMNT: Turtles in Time - Big Apple, 3 AM*)

Wiz: Michelangelo is the youngest of the turtles. He's lazy, undisciplined and easily distracted. He spends his free time playing video games, watching TV, reading comic books and eating pizza. 

Boomstick: That turtle is fucked up! 

Wiz: What? 

Boomstick: Come on, you can't tell me that that turtle is not on drugs! 

Wiz: I don't know, I always thought he was dropped as a kid. 

Boomstick: Okay, look! He has all the signs! Strange eating habits, inability to pay attention, incoherent phrases...

Wiz: Moving on, his weapon of choice... 

Boomstick: The bong

Wiz: No, the Nunchaku, isn't really a weapon at all. It's a farming tool for threshing grain. These "weapons" are unnecessarily overcomplicated clubs with the effectiveness of a tattered flyswatter. Yet SOMEHOW, Michelangelo has been able to blunder his way through fights to victories he really doesn't deserve! 

Boomstick: He even beat Raph once. 

Wiz: Sure, I get it, swing chuks around gives him momentum to hit with them, blah, blah, blah, but in the end, a baseball bat will give you the same effect and more with much less effort. Seriously, who came up with these things? They're preposterous! 

Boomstick: You're prepostemous! I don't know. 

Wiz: And, for some reason, in all his infinite wisdom, the great master Splinter gave the most complicated weapon to the retard of the group. WHY? 

Boomstick: Mikey's not gonna win this fight, is he? 

Wiz: He'd better not.

Michelangelo (2007 movie version): "Ho ho, someone's cranky!"

Raphael

(*Cues: I Beam Fight - TMNT*)

Boomstick: Raph is cool but crude! Hell, forget crude, this guy's borderline psycho! 

Wiz: Sure to throw the first punch, Raphael is certainly the most vicious of the team. He's constantly butting heads with the others and challenging Leonardo's leadership. 

Boomstick: He uses twin Sai, which is like a combination of a pitchfork, dagger and Wolverine's claws! 

Wiz: Like the nunchuk, they also humbly began as a farming tool but were re-evaluated to counter the oppressive samurai

Boomstick: They're best used as a close ranged defensive weapon. The triple prongs are designed to block, trap and control an opponent's weapon, while using the pommel to beat the enemy into submission. Raph's Sai can even snap swords! 

Wiz: Raphael is not exactly the smartest fighter, usually rushing into a brawl without a plan and just overpowering a foe. Because of this, Raphael spends much of his time honing his combat skills. It is very likely he is physically the strongest turtle. 

Boomstick: Also, this guy's in some serious need of anger management! 

Wiz: He is naturally hot-headed and sometimes loses control of his rage. He is much more vicious than the other turtles and, at one point in the comics, even became the Shredder himself.

Raphael (90s movie version): "Damn!"

Death Battle

(*Cues: 1987 TMNT Sewer BGM*)

In the sewers of New York, the turtles face each other and they draw their weapons.

FIGHT!

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

Leonardo goes after Michelangelo and both trade blow for blow. Meanwhile, Donatello faces Raphael and Leo backflips past them. As Michelangelo attacks him, Leo stabs him with his swords, then leaps over him and slices off his arm, followed by his head, then Michelangelo was decapitated.

(*Cues: Mouser Arsenal - TMNT 2K3 Game*)

Don and Raph continue fighting. Both seem evenly matched until Don throws Raph past Leo. Leo tries to attack Don, but Don leaps on a stack of crates and begins hitting Leo in the head with his staff.

(*Cues: Stars Align - TMNT*)

Raph gets up and knocks the crates down, sending Don flying backwards onto the floor. Raph proceeds to stab Don with his sai 24 times and then faces Leo. They both fight each other and Raph knocks Leo into the water. As Leo resurfaces, Raph jumps into the water. They both trade blows with their weapons. Both seem to be at a stalemate until Raph catches Leo's swords with his sais. Eventually, the sais break Leo's sword and then both stab the other. Raph, however, is stabbed in the throat while Leo's wound isn't fatal.

Raphael: DAMN!

Raphael falls below the surface of the water, which is coloured red by his blood. Leo sits down in the water and looks at the sai in his body.

K.O.!

Results

(*Cues: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) - Main Theme (Rock/Metal Cover)*)

Boomstick: Woah ho ho! Somebody call an ambulance! Or a vet, I don't know. 

Wiz: There is a reason why Leonardo is the leader of the team. Not for strength or speed, but for strategy. Leonardo understands the strengths and weaknesses of the other turtles. His biggest threat was Raphael's sword snapping Sai, so he attacked the weakest of the group first. 

Boomstick: This means Leo let Donny beat the hell outta Raph, who couldn't compete with Don's range. By the time Raph got his revenge, Leo was in way better shape for the final duel.

Wiz: And I can hear all the fanboys raging "But Raph won in the movie! He should win here! Nyah nyah!" No! Four reasons. One: The result of the fight was specifically plot constructive, which is rarely accurate. Two: Leonardo absolutely decimated Raph in the fist fight beforehand. Three: Leonardo didn't want to fight at all. If he did, he would've killed Raphael right here. 

Boomstick: Tilt the blade, slide left, bam, no more Raph! 

Wiz: And four; That whole movie doesn't make much sense to begin with. Why should this? 

Boomstick: But, hey, Leo can still die from that stab, right? 

Wiz: Doubtful for several reasons. Turtles proportionally have smaller vital organs and far more muscle mass than humans, meaning there's little chance Raphael actually hit anything important. Leo's actually been stabbed plenty of times in the series and walked away, and all four turtles have been trained in Chi Kung and can control their breathing and heart rate to survive extreme conditions. 

Boomstick: Looks like Leo got the point of this battle.

Wiz: The winner is Leonardo.

Trivia

  • Donatello was stabbed 24 times by Raphael out of complete revenge during the Battle Royale, and ironically, he was Ben Singer's favorite ninja turtle.
  • If one looked really closely, just as Leonardo and Raphael stabbed each other, it could be seen that Raphael stabbed Leonardo first, but this didn't matter as Leo wasn't stabbed in any important parts.
  • Wiz's remark in Michaelangelo's section that a baseball bat is much more effective than nunchakus is a possible reference to the fifth episode of Deadliest Warrior, Mafia vs. Yakuza, in which the Mafia's baseball bat proved to be superior to the Yakuza's nunchakus. It may also be a reference to the turtles' ally, Casey Jones, who is a vigilante who uses sports equipment to beat up criminals, including 2 baseball bats.
  • This is the first Death Battle that has been blocked for copyright on YouTube, thanks to Viacom, which ironically owns several of Screwattack's most popular franchises (not including Death Battle).
  • This is also the first Death Battle where two or more protagonists are set against one-another.